Marilyn Deangelo:||: D11 :||: FIN

[grim]

Sixteen|District Eleven|Female
FC: Daria Sidorchuk
Code: Thomas

[grim]

There wasn't really a way to describe yourself without discomfort, now was there? I would feel uncomfortable telling someone that I felt proud of my appearance, but also shameful to tell them I disliked it. There wasn't a simple way to express your opinion about yourself. That was a valuable thought, why were human built this way, filled with discomfort, drowning in shame. I had olive skin, a fit figure, and my face was rather youthful. I did seem to have a sun burn more often then not, but dangling from an apple tree branch, makes for a decent amount of exposure to the harsh sun rays. My hair was naturally a reddish color, but has become stripped and streaked with blonde over the years. It made for a nice mix, kind of like a fresh strawberry dipped in caramel. My eyes were the exact color of my hair, a yellowish hazel. Glowing quiet vibrantly when reflecting the light.



I had a body that I would consider to be rather athletic. I spent day after day, scaling up trees, and reaching for the rosy red skins, of ripe apples. My cheeks seemed to glow with a similar color, vibrant red, like the delicate apple skins. My lips were more like the succulent inside of the apple. A pale pink color. It was torture, feeling the soft surface of a juice filled apple, and knowing that you couldn't take a single bite. The Capitol took most of our harvest, there was very little to keep for our self's. That left many hungry, and many more starving. We had become immune to their way of life though, so use to the fallen children, burdened with an empty belly, and incapable parents. I couldn't stand watching others suffer, but I could hardly take care of myself, how could I help them? Anyhow, I was to young to waste away in regret, I had to find some kind of outlet. A way to express my youthful rebellion.



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My search for rebellion has landed me in more then a "few" sticky situations. I like to find trouble, what can I saw? I guess I wouldn't consider myself an average district eleven house wife. I found relief in alcohol, or my "dizzy water", as I liked to call it. And metaled in a few "frowned upon" Substances. It was all in good fun though, I never went to far, at least not that I remember. I seem to continue to wake up, despite the hours I waste away every evening. My family made little money, and so I found my drive in theft. I saw what I wanted, and so I took it. Some would consider this cruel, stealing someones right to something, but I thought it fare. If they are stupid enough to leave it unattended, then why not take it?



Don't get me wrong, I had a sense for responsibility. I did care for some people on a rather deep level. I loved, and have been loved. Though I did have respect for people who deserved respect. I didn't respect my parents on any level, they are a set of psychos, and I want as little to do with them as possible. They were fowl, treated me like little more then a rotted apple fallen from a barren tree. I was less then nothing, they made me well aware of that. The hell with them, I had my own life to live, my own path to clear. I needed help from no one, nor did I want it. I was a rather hard laborer. I spent long hours in the tree tops, and when my work there was done, I moved to the fields. There was no want for me at home, so I chose to come back as late as possible. Many nights I found myself lulling about with my dashingly handsome girlfriend, and sitting on a street corner with her arm over my shoulder. Both of us shotgunning from a half full bottle of whisky. It was a fun life, no time for a dull moment.



I had an obsession with botany. The study of plants, I realize I wasn't from any fancy district six, were herbs were used to heal the sick and injured. But I had a decent amount of knowledge for them. I knew a few medicinal plants, some of which were very edible. You would be surprised how many fruits, and vegetables had medicinal qualities. Did you know the skin of apples help purify your blood stream? or that blueberries can improve your vision, and can also fend off degenerative diseases. I spent much time studying plants like these. Reading, and rereading as many books as possible. I once learned that ground coffee beans can be an emergency remedy for asthma. Its amazing how the foods we eat, can have a huge impact on our health. And in some cases save our life's.



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Growing up I was treated differently then most children. Well, I guess some children had it worse, hell, in the world we live in, I know there are children that had it worse. But my childhood was no walk in the park, and it still wasn't. My parents had high expectations, and even higher beliefs. They worshiped this all mighty power, and had a strict policy for the way women should act. Ha, if I was ever caught dead being told what to do, I would end it right there. I don't know where my fighting spirit came from. My sister was the kind of person to fall into the line of judgment. She listened to every word that seeped from the lips of our parents. She was their perfect child. That only left room for me to be even worse. I loved the priceless looks on their faces when i told them the adventures of my girlfriend and I. They seemed petrified, and that's just what I loved to feast on so generously.



I knew from a young age that I struggled more then the other children. I wasn't the same, but why would I want to be? Hey, I liked girls, and there was no changing that. I lived in a completely different world then the rest of my family. But, what I don't understand, is how such a petty thing like sexuality, bugged them so much. I mean we are sitting here, slowly dying from this all mighty Capitol. And they are worried about what basement I preferred? It made me sick, but at the same time amused. I didn't mind seeing them squirm. It was almost what made me want to press on. Their discomfort was worse of that then mine, and it was utterly glorious. My sister was quiet and reserved. Like a wind up doll, she had no opinions of her own, and she just lived life unhappy. I could tell she wasn't the person she was meant to be. And that made my sorrowful. I shed a tear for her downfall more times then I can count. She was only thirteen, with me as an example, and our fucked up parents as guides. There wasn't a simple path for her to follow. It wasn't fare, and it never would be.



Our lives weren't like that of others. I wasn't close to her, at least not as close as I wished I was. I loved her, and I would do anything for her, but she was so lost. Guided so far in the wrong direction, and who was I to say I knew how to fix it? Or that I even was stable enough to think that I wasn't just as bad? I was in no place to judge her future, I was still so young. But I knew what I wanted, and like I said before, I take what I want. I have no limits, and I dint believe anyone else should either. I know without boundaries, or world would go to shit. So I leave the innocence to those that are stupid enough to live a life of that tempo. Life raced by, it blew like the breeze that pulls our tree tops, and it raged like the oceans of district four. I saw no need to let it go by meaningless. I was going to die happy, knowing that i did what I thought right, and knowing that I did what I deserved to do. And that was, be free.

[Arrow]

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