Bambi La'Vie :||: D3 :||: FIN

[grim]

Fifteen|District Three|Female
FC: Elle Fanning
Code: Thomas

[grim]

Where your looks came from, you would never know. You had lost that privilege of knowing,did you had your mothers eyes, or your fathers nose. They took that from you, along with many other things. Your hair was a burnt caramel, riveting down your spine in frayed strands. Had your mother had blonde hair like yours? Your eyes were washed out blue, lighter then the moving waters below you, but not as light as the sun above. What color eyes had your father had? Your lips were large and wide. Radiating the color of cherry blossom pink. Did you ever have a sibling with similar lips? You had rather pale skin, like an ivory white. Your chin was short, kind of pushed under your mouth. It was nothing more then an overbite. But you couldn't stand the impish look of it. Your ears were large, ending in a point just above your hairline. You felt as if you resembled no one, as if you were an outcast. You were rather small, your waist thin, your arms scrawny. You stood at the below average height of five feet flat. You had hoped with age, that just a few more inches could be squeezed out of your minuscule structure. Your arms were long, stretching much further then most. Your legs were rather average considering your height. And your torso seemed to fight in just fine. Your shoulders were rather wide, for a female. But it made you appear a bit larger. Your body was rather bony. You noticed much of your skeletal structure tries to protrude through your skin. Your ribs were visible from an unhealthy distance, and your bones in your shoulder, pointed in an uncomfortable looking fashion. You ate rather hardy meals, it must just be in your blood. Though, you would never really know, there was no way of knowing what your parents were like. This left you wondering, wondering more then any child should ever have to wonder, but that was the world you lived in. The strong survive, and the weak give up their children.



--



You don't really know how you would have been, but you didn't mind the way you turned out. Life was rough on you, but that is what has made you what you are today. There was no changing it, and why would you? You trusted few, but loved many. And perhaps trust was a deeper connection then love anyway. You grew up rather quiet, afraid of being abandoned. You never wanted to cross the line, or take a step to far, because you feared being alone. One family had already disposed of you, why wouldn't another? So you kept to yourself, you avoided conflict, and always kept your distance. Hours upon hours, you would wander of all alone, crafting things with your mind. Inventing new ways to fly, shoot, even medical care, all in your head. You practiced, gave test runs, found flaws, and fixed them. All of which you did in your mind. You knew one day you would make the money to make these ideas a reality, but for now you would keep them locked away. Years of torment have led to even worse hatred for yourself. How many people did it take to despise you, before you despised yourself? Your family, your own blood didn't want you, but now this home you live in. You love it here, it makes you feel safe, secure. This orphanage, has made the world for you, and you are grateful. But the other children have taken notice to your new coming, and it results in violent verbal abuse, and on rare occasion physical. They hated you, they hated you because you where pitied. But you had a love for them like no other. This love was stronger then love, because it was wrapped in trust. The other children took notice, especially the older ones, and they retaliated. You cared deeply for the children at your feet. You seemed to bond with them more deeply then the others. Perhaps it was because those of your age rejected you. You didn't have the talents to comprehend their form of communication. But the little ones, those were the ones you understood. Their thinking was so simple, there happiness so easily quenched. It took little to please them, and you envy them for that. If only your mind was so easily at peace. The moment a child wrapped their tiny arms around your neck, you fell in love. You loved them, because you saw yourself inside of them. Though that seemed kind of self empowering, you couldn't help yourself. As much as you hated yourself for it, you felt pity for your own case. You were disgusted with yourself for feeling this way, but there was no stopping your human emotions.



--



Your life seemed to be a steamroller of depression, and a title wave of abandonment. You were born into a family that gave you up, in little less then a year. At least they tried, but why hadn't they wanted you? Did you not look the way they had wanted? Did you cry to much? You wished you knew why, so that you could work towards fixing it. You fought with yourself, at war with the factor of distaste. It wasn't until you completely gave up hope for the salvation of want, that you found that slice of peace that is keeping you sane. You still hated yourself, but at least you could be at rest when it came to being abandoned. You cant remember the faces that left you alone on that street corner, not even a brief picture. Which was odd considering you had a photographic memory. You had become use to the lifestyle of this foster home. The home wasn't always so large and glorious. You remember its old rustic self, many years back. There was a time when money was tight, and children were still never turned away. You worked hard to keep the owners attention. You fed off of there care, and you were selfish. That led to much of the reason for the jealousy of the other children. Much of them targeted you, for your selfish acts. And you knew they were selfish, but she was your everything. You cooked, you cleaned, you did everything in your power to make work easier for them. You kept your eye on some of the children, even entertained them in your free time. This made you not only happy with yourself, because you were earning your keep, but it made the children around you happy, and that meant the world. In a way you benefited from these little ones. They showed you and aspect on life, that was so much more meaningful. They made you remember that life wasn't always the hell most of these children have had to endure. Life seemed pretty simple. Cook, clean, and care, these were the sun that your mind revolved around. It was quiet, and best of all, it helped you to avoid having to converse with people of your age. You didn't understand how they functioned, and honestly, you didn't want to find out. So many people get hurt, so many people waste away in things as petty as relationships. You were perfectly fine being alone, and you actually prefer a solo lifestyle. Though it was never completely solo, there were the kids that kept you going everyday. Their bright faces illuminating your future. And of course your sister, her quirky jokes, and beautiful smile, giving you fuel to tug on. You seemed to rely on the attention of others to thrive. And perhaps because of the selfish nature of children, this was why you were hated, they didn't want to give up their attention, they would rather feast on their own. It didn't matter much though, because life was just a dream. You pull through it until your body gives out, and you lay there, finally finding your eternal slumber. You liked the ideal of death, it didn't scare you like many children, and this frightened you, but so did the rest of the world around you.

"Its their world, we are just living in it"

[Marree]