Post by Kaplan on Aug 21, 2017 15:07:36 GMT -8
Pixel Brighteye
Female | Fourteen | Asexual
Do I look okay?
My red hair is something that I've been told makes me stick out like a sore thumb in the crowds of District Three. The hair on my head reaches down my back quite far, too, but I don't usually put it up, despite it getting in the way a lot. The way I look is very different from the majority of my family, too, aside from my eye color. Most of us have the same light-colored, blue-gray eyes like I do. I used to be told quite often that I'm too skinny, which is because of not living in the richest portion of the District. Luckily, now that I'm able to eat more, I'm at more of an average weight compared to others around me.
My sense of style might not always be one that stands out too much, but on occasion, I do dress rather nicely. When I do, people certainly notice, as when I try to look nice, it's a huge variation from my usual t-shirt and jeans that I wear. Normally, I choose comfort over looks. Besides, without a lot of money in my family, most of my clothing has to be simple anyway. I own perhaps two pairs of shoes, and one coat, meaning that when I go outside, there isn't much variation in what I wear, either.
I don't look very much like my siblings, not even my twin brother. I'm a bit taller than most of my family, and I'm the only one with red hair. My brother seems to be more fit than I am, as he does a lot more active things than I do. Being a fourteen year old girl, however, it's hard for me to be very fit. It also doesn't help that I have a lack of endurance when it comes to physical activity.
Now, everyone has flaws when it comes to the way they look, and I won't deny that I do, too. My feet are of uneven sizes, making me not quite walk straight sometimes, and sometimes throwing me off balance due to the large difference between the two. I'm rather clumsy, not just because of my different sized feet, but also just naturally. I fall a lot, causing me to often have bruises and scrapes on my legs and arms. I get a bit of acne, and it's almost always there. Luckily, it's not too noticeable.
I'm not uncomfortable with how I look, as I would consider myself rather average for a fourteen year old girl. The only thing about me that seems to surprise people with my appearance, is of course, as I have mentioned, my hair color. Other than that, I tend to fade into the background with the rest of how I look. I have been called pretty quite a few times, and despite not disliking my appearance, I don't exactly agree with the compliment. I often feel like people are just saying things to try to make me feel good about how I look, even when they don't mean it.
I'll tell you more about me.
I'm a very solitary person, and I don't open up to many people. Yes, I'm kind to anyone who speaks to me, as long as they aren't being unkind to me, but it's likely that when I talk to them, I might not be being entirely open about my feelings. I don't get upset very easily, as it's very hard to anger me. Unless someone is physically harming me or someone I care about, I'm rather laid back about things. I understand that people get rather upset and angry, so I try not to get mad at them for it, which I feel I do a rather good job with.
As someone who is not at all interested in relationships beyond friendships, I identify as asexual. I have no interest in going any further with those I'm friends with, even though people often want to, and I choose to turn them down. I don't turn them down to be rude, but simply because of the lack of interest in a romantic or sexual relationship. I'm always very polite about it, but sometimes people take it the wrong way. I feel bad when people think that it's their fault that I'm not interested, especially because it's just that I'm not interested in dating anyone at all. Perhaps that will change one day, but I highly doubt that it will, as I have always felt this way, with no romantic or physical attraction to anyone.
Despite being someone who doesn't open up to a lot of people, that doesn't mean that I don't have friends. The friends that I do have are people that I absolutely love to be around. We would talk for hours on end sometimes, and I feel that that really brings me out of my shell, making me not as solitary as I usually am. I meet people from school, most of the time, as I don't get out too much unless I'm going to sit at the park or on a bench out in the District Square. It's not often that you'll see me just wandering about the District aimlessly.
When I'm with the friends that I have, when we're not just talking, we like to play a lot of games. The games that we play aren't usually all too athletic, but we generally are able to come up with something, whether it be 'Truth or Dare', or something of the like. It's not very often that I get to see my friends, though. This is because we are often all busy with things relating to school when it's not summertime. The one friend that I get to see the most is my friend Joule, because she's only twelve, and doesn't have very many things that she has to do outside of school, meaning she normally has a very open schedule during the summer.
I'm not someone with a lot of hobbies, as most of the things I do include creativity-based activities. I love painting, especially when I get the chance to paint things that are in nature, such as open fields or sunsets. Sometimes, I even go out on walks and bring my painting supplies with me so that I can paint anything beautiful that I may find. I have even gotten to the point where some people like my paintings enough to purchase them from me, which helps out my family with money that we need. I feel really good about being able to help my family with my artwork that I make.
What happened?
I've grown up in a rather loving and protecting family environment my entire life. I have a few siblings, which include my twin brother and my older sister. I live with them, as well as my grandparents, as my parents have both, for some unexplained reason, asked them to take care of us instead. I've never been certain as to why I live with my grandparents rather than my actual parents, and they still won't explain it to me when I ask them to. I hope to find out at some point, if I can convince either them or my grandparents to tell me.
My grandparents are very kind people, and always gotten along with them. I just wish that I didn't have to feel that that hid so much from me. Not only will they not tell me why my parents have my siblings and I living with them, but they also won't answer other simple questions, like if I have an aunt, uncle or cousins. I hope that I can eventually get some answers out of them about those things. In the mean time, we live as if they were my parents, as I only see my true parents about twice a year, including once on my sister's birthday and once on the birthday that my brother and I share.
I've never lost anyone very close to me. Yes, I have lost a few distant relatives that I hear briefly about only when they pass away, but not anyone that I've known personally. I've never known anyone who has gone into the Maze, and I hope I never do. Although, if my dear friend Joule ended up getting picked for the Maze, it's likely that I'd volunteer for her in a heartbeat. I've always been terrified of the Maze, and I hate watching it, but I'd be willing to take the place of someone I care about if the time came.
As a younger kid than I am now, I wasn't always the best at making friends. My assumption is that it's because of how quiet I am and how long I take to open up to people. Regardless, when I do make friends, I keep them for a very long time. To be entirely honest, I can't think of any friends who have left me on purpose. Yes, I have lost touch with friends, but it was never on purpose. Neither me nor my friends have intentionally stopped talking to one another. That is, as far as I know on their part, anyway. I can't imagine why they would have intentionally left me, though, as I can't think of anything I could have done to make them want to. I'm not saying I'm a perfect person, as no one is, but it's just hard for me to think of a reason for them to leave me without explaining it to me first, as my friends have always been completely honest with me, as far as I know.
